See Food Dieting & Bare Bottoms

Well I had a doctor’s appointment today to make sure all is well down under. You see AF has been pretty screwy since the surgery. Though I do tend to get it about every 27 days or so the last two months I spotted an entire week before she showed up full force! I should have put stock in pads, I swear, there’s nothing like wearing them for half a month. Anyway, my dr. said all is good down under but she wants me to get my thyroid in check and put on a few pounds. Ugh, how annoying! I have been the same weight since I hit puberty, its not easy putting on a few pounds on my frame. I know your thinking, what a skinny b*tch, shut it. I eat, the thyroid is totally messing me up here. Lose-Lose. My thyroid was hypo, then it went hyper then with the pregnancy back to hypo and after I M/C back to hyper. Vicious cycle. I went for blood yesterday and I’m seeing the endocrinologist on the 20th so I’ll have to wait and see if it is somewhere at a decent place.

Today DH and I start BDing- for the next 12 days. The beginning of the week is always fun but once you hit day 5 it’s like enough already! I usually ask for a wham bam thank you ‘mam (WBTM) right before I go to bed. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Just deposit the goods, I don’t want to be sexy I don’t want to be turned on or work to turn you on, I just want to use you for your swimmers, lovely I know. The kicker, I have an alter ego named Ugly Betty. Most nights you can find this fashionist wearing bottle-cap glasses, headgear (just kidding its an invisalign retainer), and the unsexiest PJs with socks- a true beauty. DH is especially excited getting into bed with Ugly Betty especially when I’m asking for a WBTM with a speech impediment. You get the picture.

Anyway, one O calculator says the big day is this Sunday and the other says its Tuesday so according to the doc we are to do the EOD method, but I’ll throw an extra few in there just for good luck. Hoping this will be my month with very little rug burn in between. That reminds me, I have to schedule my wax, I have tons of funny stories about the Brazilians that I get, like accidentally farting when by bare naked ass is up in the air while I’m on all fours and pretending I didn’t hear anything but you’ll have to wait to hear those for a rainy day. Nothing like a bare bottom. Now all I’ll have to do is add a couple more pounds to it, hoping this should be fun.
Xo