Judo Chop!

My phantom symptoms are getting stronger by the day- 6 days and counting. I woke up this morning with a sharp pain on my side, perhaps near my ovary. I remember feeling this pain once before, when I had the episode where I thought I was M/Cing and the dr. said it may have been a cyst that burst. Thing is, that lasted 20 minutes or so and I was nearly dying on the bathroom floor. This pain- though paralyzing lasted only a few minutes. It was basically an Austin Powers Judo Chop right to the ovary! Implantation perhaps? Knock on wood no spotting, the last two months I started spotting a full week before AF finally showed so I'm praying I'm in the clear of at least that obstacle. My right (.) is still killing me, yay!! I'm not complaining about anything, simply documenting my symptoms so I can hopefully not look back next month (because I'll be PG) and see what was happening when.

I've been doing a good job keeping busy. Work was crazy today and I went to the gym-cardio hi lo for 45 minutes, a killer workout that leaves me practically for dead, so much so that DH is in the kitchen whipping up something scrumptious. I tried to think about my list of things to do in life, ok I'm lying I was too busy and every time I tried to think of something I was drawing a blank. But now that I'm on the topic, I think I have a #3. Audition of a soap opera and possibly be cast on the show. Funny I know, but I think it could be fun. Plus I'm my own boss so I could potentially run into the city on an audition. Hmm..maybe if and when I ever get some spare time (I only have spare time to overanalyze my PG symptoms) then I will send my head shots out. I have a ton. I got them done years ago when I was going through my news anchor stage- that's a story for another day.

Anyway, back to symptoms, my side every now and then still tingles and how could I forget- I have the worst pizza face ever! Ok, maybe not so much pizza but definitely broken out, my perfect milky peaches and cream complexion is totally broken out and what's worse is I can't use any products. Sigh. How I long for the days of Peter Thomas Roth, or anything with salicylic acid. My symptoms are up to 3, and if you want to count DC then that makes 4. I promise I won't test but if I keep up like this I'm very tempted.

7 Days & Counting

So as the title of this post suggests, AF is due in 7 days. Ugh, the torture of waiting! Can't they invent some type of gadget that lets you know immediately? This is usually the phantom sign, I'm definitely pregnant week. Had I been right all these times I'd probably have about 12 kids by now. So besides my sore (.)(.) nothing much else to report. I took group power tonight (1 hour weight lifting cardio class) so I could attribute some of the soreness to the weights. I keep asking DH what he thinks and he thinks this is our month, so fingers crossed I'm praying.

Gosh, how could I forget, I had a thyroid appointment this morning, my levels are good. The dr is keeping me on the same dose for the next two months unless I get PG before, then he is bumping me up immediately. He told me to call him as soon as I find out. I asked if my levels were at a place where it would make it difficult to conceive and he said no, my levels are just fine so yay!! I also asked if my M/C could have been because my levels were off and I wasn't on top of my blood tests and medication and he said its hard to say since they didn't test any of the tissue and he also said not to look to deeply into it. Anyway, the blood work he was going off of was taken 3 weeks ago which is a week before O time which means that we have a solid chance this month because my levels are good.

How can I occupy myself for the next 7 days so I don't think about my phantom symptoms? Online shopping, eh, redecorating the house, maybe, cleaning, no way! I think I may volunteer at an animal shelter, I haven't mentioned I'm obsessed with my dog and I would love to help and give love to other animals. And don't think I want to volunteer just to occupy myself this week, its on my list of things to do in life- theres only like 3 things on there for now. My sister has about 50, she was the one who challenged me to make one in the first place. Mine are coach a high school sport- maybe soccer, volunteer at an animal shelter and, uh, I guess that's it. Maybe I'll keep myself busy with coming up with 50 things to do in life- I think that will definitely keep me busy and you entertained lol. Stay tuned, this should be interesting! You know according to one of my OCs, they say that a BFP could show as early as the end of this week. I won't test I promise...

Phantom Symptoms (.)(.)

Yes those are BBs, my babymaking BFF taught me that lol. Aren't they cute, I just couldn't help myself. Anway, had a great relaxing weekend with DH, I just can't get enough of him. We saw Benjamin Button, great flick, BDed Friday and ever since I've had a slight pain in my armpit, which is a great sign! Not looking to into it but my right (.) never really hurts until a day or so before AF except for when I was PG. So with 7 days and counting, it has been getting more and more sore since Friday. Other than that no other symptoms, I'm going to try not to overanyalze- its so easy when you are bored! I think I'm going to take a ride to the mall or Home Goods, observing MLKJ Day today. Nothing more to bore you with, be back tomorrow!

Is It A Full Moon?!

I'm still angry and need to vent, this is what I look like today. Ok, maybe my legs aren't that long and I have pants on. Oh, and I don't have any tattoos, but I would consider getting one. Maybe two. Little cute ones. Anyway, I am so angry I'm probably not going to O this month because my blood has been boiling since Monday. First the clients, then Bridezilla BFF, and now DH. We were supposed to have a lunch time quickie and we fought, over the client! I can't. Now the whole BD schedule is off. We are BDing tonight but I bet I already missed my chances. A part of me doesn't even care if this is the month or not. I haven't put much of an effort into it, maybe it will work or maybe it won't which will only continue to infuriate me and set off my bad behavior. Is it too much to ask for a baby? Going to pilates this evening to work off some steam...

No Humping on Hump Day

Well as the title on this post suggests, DH and I did not BD last night. We were both exhausted, I've been 'working' out, took a group power class on Tuesday (weight lifting for 1 hour) and a cardio hi/lo (crazy cardio for 45 minutes where 10 minutes in I was trying to scheme a way to leave the class without getting noticed) and just didn't have the strength in me. I made a deal with DH and asked if we could BD this morning since it would only be a few hours past 'schedule' and he said fine. Long story short we did not BD this morning and I don't think we are going to until tonight and I'm planning on taking pilates. Ugh. So the dr. said EOD anyway and so does my trusty babymaking BFF. So we BDed Thursday, Saturday-Tuesday and we will again tonight. Of course last night was probably the night that mattered lol. I just can't win, can I ? Nothing else to report, my body is totally sore for all the exercise I've been doing, thank God tonight's class is only 30 minutes. I need a break! I may or may not take Zumba over the weekend. I'm trying to get my blood flowing and eat healthy so that I can make and keep this baby :) Anyway, DH said I should drink lots of water because it will help move his swimmers, I of course googled it and can't find any supporting evidence. Anybody ever hear of this?

Venting Time

My purpose in blogging is for free therapy. It feels great to get my thoughts out there and if I have one person reading about my issues than I feel like I accomplished something. Today I had a dentist appointment. I must have told 15 people working there the reason I haven't been their since June and the reason why I didn't want to get XRays today, nobody listens. If I had to talk about my M/C one more time I was going to punch somebody. Look at my d*mn chart, its in there!! And since I'm on the topic of people I want to punch I've made you an easy reference list below:
1. BFF- She's getting married next November and I'm here MOH. She acts like she is the only one that has ever gotten married and everyone's life revolves around her and her wedding. She asked me a few weeks back if I would hold off on getting PG so I can go on her bachelorette party and basically won't ruin her wedding- I know a total Queen B*. We got in a huge fight about it. Every time I think about her, the wedding, having to order my bridesmaid dress a year in advance because she doesn't want them to get discontinued or how she bugs me to send out an email to the bridal party to 'start saving' for her bachelorette party it makes my blood boil. I'm irate just thinking about it right now. I just want to scream in her face BACK OFF. I don't know what my situation is going to be in November, maybe I'll be PG maybe I would have already had the baby but I don't want to think about things so far in advance, just let me worry about the here and now. I feel like I have this unnecessary stress because I have to make everything perfect for her and when I do find out my good news that she'll try to rain on my parade and give me the evil eye. I already lost one baby, I don't want to have to ever go through that again. I'm at the point where I don't really care if I'm even in her wedding, her selfishness has really gotten under my skin. I have had the conversation with her and she still doesn't get it, Bridezilla in full effect. My latest coping mechanism with her is for little or no phone contact, I recently realized I'm not a phone person. Oh, and one more thing. She and her fiance were at my house for dinner two weeks ago and she goes to tell me that an old friend from college is PG, actually she said she was huge. What the f* would you need to tell me this when you know, I'm still sensitive and I should be like 6 months PG right now. Ugh, I really can't stand her sometimes. Oh, and one more thing- really one last thing because I could probably go on all night, the bachelorette party. Not for nothing but I doubt I'm going. I mean I will plan the whole thing out, don't get me wrong, a sick party weekend in Vegas but if I'm even a week PG next August, I'm not going. I'm not going to risk M/Cing to make her happy. No f*ing way. She has a big problem with this and like I said to her, I can't predict where I'll be next August and next November so don't make me make plans now. I'm not emailing grown women to start saving when they know that she wants a weekend away in Vegas. They should know and if they don't they obviously they weren't being serious that they wanted to come. 2 girls from her bridal party are getting married right before her (June and October) and me and 1 other girl are trying to get PG out of the 6 she has. Everyone has a life and they are not stopping for her stupid wedding!!!
2. Clients- I'm so sick of demanding rude clients. I can't deal. I'm nice to a point but don't push me. I'm really getting sick of them wanting me to work for free. Do this and that and then not pay or pay late. One complains she isn't selling enough and if she doesn't sell than she can't afford to keep me on- well ramp up your f*ing sales force. Another annoys me with her attitude, speaking to me like I'm her assistant- excuse me lady, if you're going to have that tone than call me when you calm down and the last is a big sissy- she has to get her office manager to call me because she's scared of me. What the hell is wrong with people! I feel like I'm getting soft in my old age. I used to work in the city and was basically like a bat out of hell. Now, suburbia has changed me a bit. I need to enroll in a class to revive my inner Queen B*
3. Sister- I get a call this morning from my sissy that lives across the country, shes crying because she doesn't feel good. So I asked her if she could driver herself to the doctor or an emergency room. No she tells me because she collapsed in the kitchen before she called me. So I told her to call 911 and get an ambulance to pick her up. She's scared she tells me, of what?! I thought you were dying, why are you calling me and my parents when you live in a different time zone? Its not like I can hop in my car and come help you! So I just called her now to check up on her and she's still sleeping. The girl is always sick. If its not bad headaches then its UTIs and if its not that then its severe sore throats. What the hell is wrong with you?! Go to a damn doctor and get yourself checked out and stop moving across the country away from your family and friends- we can't take care of you from here.

I think that's it. Well, I'm sure I can go on about something or another. Like how my Dad annoyed me this weekend when I called to tell him Happy Birthday or how my Painter didn't show up today or how my other BFF calls me at the most inconvenient times, almost as though she is doing it on purpose. I am to remain calm, cool and collected. I am due to O any day now or it happened yesterday. DH and I are still BDing ED, tomorrow starts EOD. Praying this is my cycle so I can order my damn bridesmaid dress already either in a size 0 or 10. Haven't decided yet. xo

Used & Abused

Monday, sigh..I hate Mondays. Though the week tends to go by pretty quickly, I hate how fast the weekend flies by! So DH and I were supposed to be following the EOD method, we BDed Thursday, took a break Friday and BDed Saturday and Sunday. I plan on BDing through Wednesday than going back to the EOD method. I know, EOD is better, even according to my dr. but when I got PG last time we BDed for 5 days straight and I caught the egg. According to several OCs I am set to O any day now and I don't want to waste any chances. So in the mean time I am being used and abused down under. I usually hate this week because I'm always left so d*mn sore. Sorry TMI but I'm learning that babymaking is quite a game of sacrifice. No drinking, no cool skincare products, no strenuous exercise, no bad foods like sushi-just in case-and bruising down below. I'll keep you posted on how I make out, AF is scheduled for January 27th, praying she won't show up!