Are you there God, No, I need You

Dear God,
Thank you so much for blessing me with my miracle. I'm sorry I haven't been to happy or excited yet, I am terrified of this blessing being taken away from me. As you know, I have been spotting and I"m not sure if this is normal or the start of a potential situation. I am trying to listen to keep it calm and stress free. I pray and beg that you please let me keep this baby and give me the strength to chill out. Thank you God.
xx

So I've been doing a lot of praying this weekend. Unfortunately I missed church yesterday but that didn't stop me from praying. There has been some very light spotting (pink/peach DC) on and off through the weekend. I thought it stopped yesterday but to my dismay I just checked and its back. Ugh. I know, I've read spotting is normal and there are women who spot their entire pregnancy and go on to have normal healthy babies and I even had a friend who spotted most of her first trimester very badly who went on to deliver a beautiful baby boy this past summer but spotting = paranoia. The weird thing about spotting, when I was told first go-round my baby's heart stopped beating I was still feeling PG and there was no signs or symptoms of a m/c. If it weren't for the sonogram that morning, I would have never known, though I'm sure a few days later the bleeding would have started. My drs. appointment is 1 week from tomorrow. God willing I will only be about 6 weeks, to early to hear a heart beat and possibly to small to see one. I am assuming they want me to come in early than the 7-8 weeks because of the last m/c. I'm so scared to go, whats even more nerve racking was it wasn't my first appointment last time, it was the second with the bad news. Planning on taking it easy, continuing to drink loads of water which is starting to make me nauseous, if I think about throwing up like I am right now, I am gagging in my seat. Hmm..perhaps this is a good sign. I'll keep you posted and please think of me in your prayers. xo