Symptoms Update

Sorry I haven't checked in for a while. I promise not to slack off anymore. So today is 5 weeks, 6 days based on AF. My dr appointment is on Wednesday, I'm so nervous. You see the last few days all has been well, more or less I'd say the spotting stopped. I even started to feel some morning sickness, maybe since Thursday on an off throughout the day really bad at night. Getting out of bed in the morning has been tough both because being tired and feeling queasy. I haven't been eating well either because of the queasy feeling. It feels like I can throw up at any moment if I think about throwing up. Last night I wasn't feeling well again and I remember I bought Sea Bands last go round. They are two bands that go around your wrists and have a plastic ball that pushes your pressure points to relieve you of nausea. I decided to sleep with them last night and it totally worked! There were only a few times during the middle of the night when I woke up and didn't feel right and waking up this morning only took about 15 minutes of laying there until I was ready to get up. TMI alert, when I went to the bathroom this morning I noticed blood, red blood enough to make me want to throw up and pass out all at the same time mixed with what looked like clear EWCM. I wiped again then a small streak of reddish brown on the tp. A third wipe, there was not much of anything but still a small spot of pinkish brown. The panic started. I looked in the toilet, no blood. Took a shower and everything seemed fine. Called the doctor let them know the situation, they said as long as I don't have cramping and the spotting doesn't turn to bleeding like I was getting AF I was ok. Bleeding/spotting is normal during the first trimester. Why can't I get this through my thick head??!! So as it stands right now, I have been drinking water like its my job all day, running to the bathroom every so often to pee and there is only a small amount of spotting going on. Sometimes it looks like spotty DC and sometimes it looks like what I think they call 'old blood'. All I know is I can't wait to go to the doctor on Wednesday and vent and make sure all is well down under. I took my Sea Bands off hoping the nausea would come back and I've been ok this far. All the websites and books 'say' symptoms may not even start until 6 weeks and they are on and off so one day you can be so sick and the next totally fine. So now a different type of waiting game, this one much worse than the anticipation of a BFP. I'll keep you posted on any updates, of course DH is away on business until tomorrow and I have to deal on my own. I didn't want to tell him and worry him while he was away but I don't have any one to talk to and tell me everything is going to ok so I had to tell him. He send me prayers and kisses and I hope you will do the same. xo

Sorry I Suck

I've been out of touch for no reason other than laziness. Today is 5 weeks 1 day. No 'real' symptoms as of yet. Thank God (while knocking on wood) the spotting/tinted DC has subsided. I woke up today with what feels like I got punched in my ribs. I did 'shovel' snow yesterday, actually I wasn't shoveling I just push the snow off the deck with a shovel so that my little man and go out and perhaps that is what did it. I googled rib pain and pregnancy and basically unless you are at the 7 month mark, there is no excuse. Other than that, I've been reading and hearing that the symptoms start to kick in next week so hopefully we will see what happens. I'm scheduled to see the gyno next Wednesday, 6 weeks 1 day, a week and a half earlier than the first go-round. I guess they want me to come in earlier to make sure everything is ok. Not sure if they'll be able to do an u/s, will they be able to see or even hear anything? The books all say not to expect to hear a heart beat until 9 or 10 weeks but I heard it first go around at 7 and 8 weeks. So I'm not sure what to expect, I'm so nervous!! It still hasn't hit me that I'm PG. I mean really, especially symptom-less it's just so surreal. Anyway not much else, sorry I'm boring, guess its better than stressing out like a crazy lady which is what I usually do but I'm taking a break from that today. xo

Are you there God, No, I need You

Dear God,
Thank you so much for blessing me with my miracle. I'm sorry I haven't been to happy or excited yet, I am terrified of this blessing being taken away from me. As you know, I have been spotting and I"m not sure if this is normal or the start of a potential situation. I am trying to listen to keep it calm and stress free. I pray and beg that you please let me keep this baby and give me the strength to chill out. Thank you God.
xx

So I've been doing a lot of praying this weekend. Unfortunately I missed church yesterday but that didn't stop me from praying. There has been some very light spotting (pink/peach DC) on and off through the weekend. I thought it stopped yesterday but to my dismay I just checked and its back. Ugh. I know, I've read spotting is normal and there are women who spot their entire pregnancy and go on to have normal healthy babies and I even had a friend who spotted most of her first trimester very badly who went on to deliver a beautiful baby boy this past summer but spotting = paranoia. The weird thing about spotting, when I was told first go-round my baby's heart stopped beating I was still feeling PG and there was no signs or symptoms of a m/c. If it weren't for the sonogram that morning, I would have never known, though I'm sure a few days later the bleeding would have started. My drs. appointment is 1 week from tomorrow. God willing I will only be about 6 weeks, to early to hear a heart beat and possibly to small to see one. I am assuming they want me to come in early than the 7-8 weeks because of the last m/c. I'm so scared to go, whats even more nerve racking was it wasn't my first appointment last time, it was the second with the bad news. Planning on taking it easy, continuing to drink loads of water which is starting to make me nauseous, if I think about throwing up like I am right now, I am gagging in my seat. Hmm..perhaps this is a good sign. I'll keep you posted and please think of me in your prayers. xo